The one where I have absolutely nothing to show for our current life so I am thankful I took a picture of a picture back when I was in Dallas last month so I'd have something to blather about:
Dear 2001 me,
It actually makes me happy to see that many of my dental insecurities of 2012 were present 11 years ago (when I apparently didn't care so much)-- even my one eyelid didn't open quite as far as the other back then, too!
Of course, I was also at my most slender when I was you although I know I probably complained about my hips and thighs even then...along with all the pressure I was under to write an Honors Thesis, get As in all my classes, plan a wedding, spend time with my separated-by-2-hours fiance, etc, etc. Real-world problems, all of them. Clearly. (Hint: you don't lose your sarcastic bent over the years.)
Even then, you knew you wanted to hit the East Coast for grad school, but--let's be honest--you have NO idea what you'll study. Guess what? Eleven years later, you're still in your eastern land, although you still don't have any tangible skills, save for writing a daily blog that only occasionally leans on the crutch of old bridal portraits.
Is it still hard to believe that you ended up finding a Baylor Bear spouse, just as your parents and several cousins did? Turns out that guy, as sometimes-frustratingly committed to helping the lives of kids at school that he is, is the best father to your own kids that you could imagine. And you'll never believe this, but he eventually gives up and starts wearing shorts AND flip-flops! And loves international cuisines! And even
other people!!! :-)
I think you already know you won't be a "kid person." You didn't grow up around babies and, while you always assumed you'd have some (and secretly hoped they'd be little nerds like you are!), you don't really know what you'll
do with them. Give yourself about 6.5 years to "thaw" to the idea of parenthood.
Pssst: the first one turns out to have so many Moore-like tendencies that it's pretty breezy....until he decides around the age of 4 to start testing limits. I'm not sure you know how little patience you have, but 2001 me, start praying now for more of it!
You're wondering how leaving college will weaken friendships. You're wondering if you've already spent too many years away from treasured Corning friends. You have no idea how the internet and social media will create so many fabulous outlets for your obsessed-with-information-self that you could end up writing a blog post like this for loyal readers, two of whom have been friends long enough to remember how you worried so much about being caught without a hall pass, and each of whom has lived close enough since then for regular visits. And it only takes one return trip to Texas to be reminded that the friends who brought wine coolers to your 21st birthday now not only think those drinks are as disgusting as you do, but also laugh and cry with you over more appropriate beverages for 30-somethings. And the memories of the super-bed, the interpretive dancing, the functions-- those memories aren't going anywhere. Kinda like your hips and thighs.
2001 me, even in 2012, you won't have any idea what's coming next. You'll learn that selling a house is way more stressful than blithely buying your first one, and you'll still spend way too much time wondering/worrying about what your next one will look like. And what memories will happen there. They're destined not all to be happy ones, but they can all be meaningful ones if you let them. Try to relax. Actually-- right now, walk to the stairway of your apartment, Village I #3210, and read the Mary Engelbreit print that says: "Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles; it empties today of its strength." And then recite that to yourself every day for the next 11 years.
Oh, and that brother of yours? Yeah- he's going to do WAY cooler things than you will! But there's only
one All-American in the family...
Lovies,
emk
